Three Rivers
History From America's Most Famous Valleys

A Bit of Humor
from the collection of Lewis Decker

Sacred to the memory of
Susan Blake 1754-1835
Old Susie Blake in royal state,
Arrived at last at Heaven's Gate.
But Peter froze her with a stare,
--And soon she thawed in hotter air.

George Schwanky
Who died Jan 5, 1795
Here lies old 33 percent.
The more he made the more he lent.
The more he got, the more he craved.
The more he made the more he saved
Great God! should such a soul be saved?

Here Lyeth Jas. Ross & Ruth his Wife
They fought a good fight
Their warfare is done.

In Memory of Mrs. Alpha White
Weight 309 lbs.
Open wide ye golden gates
That lead to the heavenly shore
Our father suffered in passing through
And mother weighs much more.

Here Lies the Body of
Susan Lowder
Who Burst While Drinking Sedlitz Powder
Called from this world to
Her Heavenly rest
She Should have waited
Till it Effervesced

Beneath this stone
A lump of clay
Lies Arabella Young
Who on the 21st of May 1771
Began to hold her tongue.

In memory of Mr.
Peter Daniel
Born Aug 7, 1688
Dyed May 20, 1746
Beneath this stone,
A lump of clay
Lies Uncle Peter Daniels
Who too early in the
month of May
Took off his winter flannels.

"He got a fish bone in his throat
And then he sang an angel's note."

"Whereever you may roam
Always let your wind blow free
For that is what killeth me."

This corpse
Phebe Thorps.

"Emma, Dau'r of Abraham and Mililda C--
and wife of Theodore S, died Aug. 10, 1868.
AE 26 yrs. Leaving five children, married too young
Against her father's will.
Single women take warning.

"Here lies the wife of Robert Ricular
Who walked the way of God Perpendicular."

Here he lies
Nobody mourns, No body cries
where he goes and how he fares
Nobody knows, no body cares-
there he lies, let him lie still
A. B. Finehout of Fultonville.
Nov. 21, 1892

To the memory of
Abraham Beaulieu
Accidentally shot
April 1844:
As a Mark of Affection
From his brother.

Beneath these stones
do lie
back to back
my wife and I;
when the last loud trump
shall blow,
if she gets up
I'll just lie low.

The Little Hero
That lies here
Was conquired by
The Diarrhoea

Sacred to the memory
of Jared Bates
His widow, aged 24
Lives at 7 Elm Street
Has every qualification
For a good wife
And yearns
To be comforted.

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